Comments on: The helpful (?) spouse http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse The insider's edge on job search & hiring™ | Copyright © 2011 North Bridge Group, Inc. All rights reserved. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:42:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: David http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23706 David Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:31:02 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23706 Wow... I've been hoping for *more than 2 years* to find the article referenced here (Acute Spousal Interference). About 2 years ago, when my job was really stressing me out, and I decided to search for greener pastures, my wife inserted herself very much into the search & interview process. Not contacting an employer, but definitely offering lots of input on where I should look, how much I'm worth, what other benefits I should be offered, etc... Under the right circumstances, that can sound helpful, but she doesn't understand my (technical) job or industry well enough to offer value in that area. For example, when I tried to explain why working at Microsoft just wasn't an option, she became miffed, and it started impacting our relationship. Fast forward, everything's fine now, happy with my job, etc... but really it goes to show that not all involvement is useful or constructive. It's possible for someone's heart to be in the right place, and simultaneously for their involvement to be counter-productive. Thank you for this article, and posting back to the 2007 article! I will guarantee you there are a LOT of people (men *and* women) in situations like this.... Wow… I’ve been hoping for *more than 2 years* to find the article referenced here (Acute Spousal Interference).

About 2 years ago, when my job was really stressing me out, and I decided to search for greener pastures, my wife inserted herself very much into the search & interview process. Not contacting an employer, but definitely offering lots of input on where I should look, how much I’m worth, what other benefits I should be offered, etc…

Under the right circumstances, that can sound helpful, but she doesn’t understand my (technical) job or industry well enough to offer value in that area. For example, when I tried to explain why working at Microsoft just wasn’t an option, she became miffed, and it started impacting our relationship.

Fast forward, everything’s fine now, happy with my job, etc… but really it goes to show that not all involvement is useful or constructive.

It’s possible for someone’s heart to be in the right place, and simultaneously for their involvement to be counter-productive.

Thank you for this article, and posting back to the 2007 article! I will guarantee you there are a LOT of people (men *and* women) in situations like this….

]]> By: Nick Corcodilos http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23474 Nick Corcodilos Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:36:25 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23474 Good ideas here about how a spouse can be helpful without being intrusive! Good ideas here about how a spouse can be helpful without being intrusive!

]]> By: JB King http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23469 JB King Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:54:05 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23469 I think being that sounding board and editor when it comes to things like resumes, cover letters and handling interview questions, these are key points for what a spouse or friend can do to help. If they go, "What the heck does that mean?" or "What was your point in this sentence?" it can be helpful in clarifying the message. Another point is to keep their eyes and ears open for things within that field which may mean having to explain what kind of work are you wanting,e.g. what sector or roles do you want. If someone wants to find someone to mow their lawn, would you be interested in that? Some may and some may not. Lastly, the spouse can help with some minor aspects like what clothes to wear, what attitude to have going into the interview, quiz on what key points to have and communicate, which may be easily overlooked by others in the world. How many people do you know can get that free second opinion of, "Do I have something in my teeth?" or "How do these clothes make me look?" kind of questions? It can be quite valuable and yet I doubt how many people know how to take advantage of the gold mine right next to him or her. I think being that sounding board and editor when it comes to things like resumes, cover letters and handling interview questions, these are key points for what a spouse or friend can do to help. If they go, “What the heck does that mean?” or “What was your point in this sentence?” it can be helpful in clarifying the message.

Another point is to keep their eyes and ears open for things within that field which may mean having to explain what kind of work are you wanting,e.g. what sector or roles do you want. If someone wants to find someone to mow their lawn, would you be interested in that? Some may and some may not.

Lastly, the spouse can help with some minor aspects like what clothes to wear, what attitude to have going into the interview, quiz on what key points to have and communicate, which may be easily overlooked by others in the world. How many people do you know can get that free second opinion of, “Do I have something in my teeth?” or “How do these clothes make me look?” kind of questions? It can be quite valuable and yet I doubt how many people know how to take advantage of the gold mine right next to him or her.

]]> By: Laurie Berenson http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23230 Laurie Berenson Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:58:03 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23230 I agree, Nick, it's difficult to outsource aspects of the job search to a spouse. You already touched on the biggest way they can help - to listen and be a sounding board. Other ways they can help include drafting or editing letters, proofreading documents, printing and mailing cover letters and follow up/thank you letters, and helping with interview prep. I agree, Nick, it’s difficult to outsource aspects of the job search to a spouse. You already touched on the biggest way they can help – to listen and be a sounding board. Other ways they can help include drafting or editing letters, proofreading documents, printing and mailing cover letters and follow up/thank you letters, and helping with interview prep.

]]> By: Arleen Bradley http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23192 Arleen Bradley Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:08:29 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23192 The helpful spouse can be a great sounding board to bounce ideas off of. Sometimes we get so into our job search that we don't see things the ways others do. Ask your spouse to not only proof read your resumes and other communications, but ask their opinion on new search strategies; how your profiles on social media sites look to an other person; ask them what they think your transferable skills could be; constructive critique on interview outfits. Ask them to just listen without judging and be patient with you. The helpful spouse can be a great sounding board to bounce ideas off of. Sometimes we get so into our job search that we don’t see things the ways others do. Ask your spouse to not only proof read your resumes and other communications, but ask their opinion on new search strategies; how your profiles on social media sites look to an other person; ask them what they think your transferable skills could be; constructive critique on interview outfits. Ask them to just listen without judging and be patient with you.

]]> By: Scott Boren http://corcodilos.com/blog/1205/the-helpful-spouse/comment-page-1#comment-23188 Scott Boren Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:31:16 +0000 http://corcodilos.com/blog/?p=1205#comment-23188 Resumes. No matter how well you know your resume any time you make an update ask your (person by whatever title) to read it for errors. Happens every time. Of course you can ask them to keep their eyes/ears open during their day. They may be talking to someone who says their spouse is hiring a (fill in the blank) and they can say My spouse is in that field. Can I have them connect with you? Resumes. No matter how well you know your resume any time you make an update ask your (person by whatever title) to read it for errors. Happens every time.
Of course you can ask them to keep their eyes/ears open during their day. They may be talking to someone who says their spouse is hiring a (fill in the blank) and they can say My spouse is in that field. Can I have them connect with you?

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